


City of Heat and Clockwork

by NuancedNarrative



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Heinoustuck, F/F, F/M, Heinoustuck+
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22329667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuancedNarrative/pseuds/NuancedNarrative
Summary: Your name is Dave Strider. You are trying to make the best of an artificially lit city, but the darkened sky is a constant reminder of the permanent darkness your world is seemingly punished with.You have never seen the sun.
Relationships: Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde, Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Rooftop

You sit at the ledge of the rooftop to gaze at the city below. One advantage of having the top apartment is that you have roof access, which has come to be both a blessing and a curse. Mostly a curse, but for now, it is a blessing.

You know it used to be lit by a giant ball in the sky. It would give constant warmth and light, boiling the city alive but giving life. Since you have been born, though, you have known light only through artificial means, and heat by the molten rock spilling out of the split earth. It flowed through cogs, powering the lights and emanating torrid warmth that rose into the sky. Even from up here, you felt the tail end of its sweltering glow. No one had been able to walk or drive for a while now; most got around by cable cars and sky bridges that linked the many buildings together. The rich could afford vehicles that hovered through the sky, floating to their destination. They were noisy, but even that was drowned out by the sound of turning gears, metal, and burbling lava. 

Other than people-if you could call most of them that-the only biological life here were crows. Sleek, black birds that somehow survived with no sun. No sun to keep the plants alive that fed their prey. They'd adapted to the heat over generations, living off of scraps and sometimes each other. They came to you sometimes, and you always fed them. You liked those feathery creatures. Everyone else saw them as pests, but you personally thought they were cool, and their eyes seemed to know things. They were your only friends outside of a digital sense. 

One lands next to you. You offer a piece of the PB&J sandwich you've been eating, and as expected it snaps it up. It pushes it head into your hand, a sign of trust and affection. It was another thing you liked about crows. They were easy friends to make, so long as you 1. didn't make any loud or sudden movements and 2. fed them. Your avian friend flies off, probably to take back to its young if it had any. The young didn't often survive here. Fellow crows didn't have much to eat, and anything that didn't fight back was game. It was a crow eat crow world. You could probably make a song about it. You save it to your mental songs folder and stand up. You go back to the stairs you came from.

The inside of your apartment was dark, the windows angled in such a way that not much light came through. The light shone mostly at the middle levels, where the least amount of luminescence was. Around the floor and furniture, strange stitched abominations took up most of the floor space. Fireworks were shoved in the sink. Weapons lay strewn about in random cabinets and the fridge. Most of your time was spent in your bedroom, which you made your way to, being careful not to move anything out of place. Your Bro had a meticulous place for everything, and if one thing was out of order, it was a very bad day. 

Walking into your room was always a relief. It was a safe place away from strange felt creatures and other garbage lying around. Here, you had your turntables, your bed and your shelves containing various showcases of your interests. Your bed is adorned with a blanket of different symbols pertaining to cards. Above is a poster of your favorite webcomic, the Midnight Crew. To the right of your turntables is a blank space you have been saving for something you do not know of yet. You feel like you might place something life changing in that very spot. Your shelves contain various preserved organisms, some of which have been extinct for a long time. You spend much of your allowance buying these from collectors. Lying in front of your bed is your computer setup, which is just a large surface balanced upon stacked cinder blocks. This is where you work on your personal webcomics, upload "sick jams", and communicate with your friends. Just then your computer pings. One of them is trying to contact you now, in fact. You sit down and log onto pesterchum, seeing a notification credited to one tentacleTherapist. 

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]\--

TT: Hello, Dave.   
TT: I hope your twelfth birthday is going well. Have you received my package as of yet?   
TG: hey lalonde   
TG: no i have not received the package containing immense quantities of illegal substances yet   
TT: It's only a sweater.   
TG: oh so now you go and spoil the surprise   
TT: There is more to it, but my apologies anyway. Have you had an at least decent birthday today?   
TG: yeah its going just fine   
TG: ive just been on the roof chilling with the boys   
TG: looking onto the city below   
TG: its weirdly beautiful yknow   
TG: like how rocket fuel smells weirdly good   
TT: If it were anyone else I would find it rather odd you know what that smells like.   
TG: well what else is a rocketboard gonna run on   
TG: anyways hows the weather for you   
TT: You ask that every single conversation. And my answer remains the same.   
TT: It is raining. It has always rained, it is raining right now, and it will continue to rain perhaps as long as I live and more.   
TT: In other words, the joke has not gotten any funnier.   
TG: hey hey just checking  
TG: whats the deal anyway   
TG: like everythings normal and out of nowhere the state of new york up and says   
TG: shit lets be venice   
TG: let the clouds perpetually piss down on my inhabitants   
TG: maybe it started when you were born i dunno   
TG: you made the clouds piss themselves with your mere presence   
TG: like oh shit heres rose lalonde be afraid   
TG: the meteorologists all go to the head guy and go   
TG: sir weve seen a million percent increase in precipitation coinciding with the birth of a terrifying girl   
TG: we think her mere aura has split the heavens what are we gonna do   
TG: ill tell you what were gonna do he says   
TG: were gonna go fishing for mermaids grab my hat and my book of pickup lines   
TT: Are you finished?   
TG: woah you only interrupt my rants when something serious is up   
TT: It is serious.   
TG: ok spill the juice whats happening   
TT: Jade reestablished contact today, if only briefly.   
TT: She used her short time to tell me her internet would be fully operational tomorrow.   
TG: oh shit really   
TG: fuck how long has it even been   
TT: Since August 3rd.   
TT: She used her short time to tell me her internet would be fully operational tomorrow.   
TG: four months   
TG: feels like its been four fucking years   
TG: so has she been alright   
TT: Yes, she is fine.   
TT: She said she missed you and your "silly coolkid antics" a lot.   
TT: It would seem you missed her a lot too.   
TG: hey i dont miss anyone   
TG: i mean it happens regularly enough i know she'll be ok   
TG: she has her magic dog or some shit   
TG: damn that sounds like a novel   
TG: jade harley and her magical dogs adventures in the island of middle of assfuck nowhere   
TT: Dave.   
TG: ok fine   
TG: yes ive been worried about our friend who lives on an island in the middle of nowhere surrounded by metric fucktons of snow and radioactive rocks   
TG: and im pretty relieved that theyre alright and that ill be able to talk to them again   
TG: is that what you wanted me to say   
TT: That is exactly what I wished to get out of you, yes.   
TT: This is valuable content for my psychoanalysis project on you all.   
TG: damn you and your mind games   
TG: your thirst for knowledge is dangerous rose   
TG: speaking of thirst i think im going to get some aj   
TT: I thought you had in your room?   
TG: had to hide it in the kitchen   
TG: kept finding the cartons with holes pecked in them   
TG: i love my bird boys but they can be assholes sometimes   
TT: Alright. Be safe, Dave.   
TG: ill be fine its just a trip to the kitch   
TG: not the most dangerous thing ive ever done   
TG: with the apartment empty at least haha   
TG: but if it is that perilous if i dont come back tell jade she can have my diary   
TT: Your will is noted.   
TG: thanks bb   


\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]\--

You sit back in your chair, relieved your friend is alright. You do wish Rose could tell you without turning it into a mind game, but that's just the nature of your relationship. She takes any opportunity to poke at your psyche, and you retort with rants and irony. It works, sometimes. You leave your room and head toward the kitchen where your secret stash is. Since the fridge has never been stocked, you have resorted to keeping snacks and the sacred apple juice in a small hole behind a poster. The crows weren't intelligent enough to check behind, and even if they were, they never came into the apartment past your room. Perhaps the sharp objects and puppets scared them off. Peeling back the poster, you grab a box and turn around to go back to your room. Except you don't make it to your room.

Because standing behind you, in front of a quietly closed door, is your Bro.


	2. Rooftop 2: Electric Boogaloo

His jaw was hinged, moving up and down when he spoke and laughed. A red bottom lip was painted on, while the top lay just under his nose. His shades were cracked, a result of repeatedly falling off from the maniacal shrieks of "HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO" he let out at random. Blood stained his forehead near the hairline. A large blue t-shirt along with a gold chain was put on top of an orange pinstripe tuxedo. All over, parts seemed like they were ripped off and stapled back on again-because they were. It was a frankenstein puppet of a man, unusual even for this worlds population. He was also, unfortunately, the person who happened to be your brother. He points a gloved finger at you, and in a hollow voice utters two words that have burdened countless days with fear and pain.

"Roof. Now."

You blink and he's gone, already having flashstepped up the stairs and onto the rooftop. You do your best to calm the shaking you're racked with every time he looks and speaks to you. There was no point trying to avoid what was about to happen. The last and only time you tried, he chased you down and brutally bested you. Opening the fridge, you draw your two katanas in one swift motion. You remember the days where you only used one, but Bros unpredictable and frighteningly fast fighting style forced you to adopt two blades so you could defend two positions at once. You wordlessly head to the roof, still hit with slight tremors.

As you arrive on the landing, you see him turned away from you, facing the city below as he always does. Your strifes always started the same way, with no exceptions, save the time you tried to escape them. He draws his blade and turns to you. He purposefully waits to keep you on edge, and then with a mad laugh bounds towards you and swings. You block his blow by making an X with your blades, catching his and flipping it. Only by the time you've moved to flip the blade, he is already swinging for your left side. You clumsily block and stagger, allowing him an opening, but you manage to block again in time. He shifts extremely quick, changing his style every few seconds. You have absolutely no way of knowing what attack he might use next, what tactic he'll use to breach your defenses. He was entirely unpredictable in the heat of the fight, and it terrified you. Still, nine years of strifing had honed your skills, and you managed to deflect his blows and get into the flow of fighting. Everything else was tuned out, silenced, as you focused on defending and trying to land a hit.

He still howls with laughter as he speeds up his pace. You hate that laugh so much. You hate everything about this, but it has become your life, a constant dread hanging over you. He brutally attacks from all sides, trying to feint, but you've learned to tell when he follows through. Metal strikes metal rhythmically as you defend and he attacks. Slowly, the fear you have turns into anger, and you begin attacking back with all the speed and precision you can muster. You want to hurt him, but he can't feel pain. Or at least, he ignores it. You slowly push forward, getting closer and closer, when it happens. You parry and obtain an opening, and you strike. Your right katana slashes through his chest, shredding his shirt and tux and revealing blood soaked cotton and muscle beneath. He stops for a moment, looking at his wound. Then he kicks you flat in the chest, sending you backwards and sending your katanas flying out. You wince and scramble to stand up, but fail. He just looks at you.

"Nine years. Nine fucking years and you manage to hit me." He slowly claps his gloved hands together, his body racked with another guffaw. "You better hurry up and turn thirteen, little man, so I can stop going so easy on you." And with that, he absconds. You're left sitting there. It was over as fast as it had begun, barely giving you time to process everything. You landed a hit on him. It felt good, to finally do something to the man who's caused you so much harm, but it is a hollow victory. He isn't in pain or angry with you. He's rewarding you, in fact. There is no way to get back no matter how much you want to. You could shred him to little pieces and he wouldn't die, and when he pieced himself back together he would just congratulate the fact. You would never truly win a strife, because no matter the outcome, it was a victory for him. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You lay on your bed, tired both physically and mentally Reaching for your phone, you log into pesterchum and see two people have tried to message you. One with a purple name, the other with a blue one.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TT: Dave, are you alright?   
TT: It has been almost an hour since you left.   
TG: bro kicked my ass   
TG: thats all there really is to say on the matter   


\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

It was more complicated than "bro kicked my ass", but you were always too exhausted after strifes to hold a conversation. It was your code for saying you need space and rest, and Rose always understood. Your other friends, while meaning well, usually tried to ask if you were ok a few minutes after your short response. You appreciated the concern, you really did, but you just didn't have the energy to talk about your inner thoughts. And even if you did, you couldn't sacrifice the facade you'd built for yourself as a defense mechanism. Unless Rose got it out of you somehow. 

After a few minutes of laying down and staring at the ceiling in silence, you realize you are even thirstier than you were before. Your favorite drink and Strider patented shitposting always helped you relax, so you get up and head back to your hiding spot. When you get to the kitchen, you see something wrapped up on the counter that you failed to notice as you came in. Your Bro must have put it there before he went...well, you didn't know or care. You see a note attached.

"Bro,  
For your birthday, and finally striking me. Dont expect me to go any easier on you."

You crumple the note and throw it against the fridge at full force. All this accomplishes is making it bounce back and against your head, landing on the counter. Since you're supposed to be trying to relax, you elect to grab your AJ and head back to your room. Grabbing the carton, you go towards your room but stop for a moment. After a second of hesitation you grab the package and take it back with you. Its the only birthday gift you have so long as the others are stuck in transit, despite who it comes from.

You place the package on your bed and sit down at your computer for the second time today. Working on the new Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff three-parter would help you unwind, as shitposting always does. In this new installment, the duo would get stuck on the moon and have to out-skate "then evil space CONCKtopus..!". It wouldnt be as grand as the nancho party arc, nothing would, but your loyal readers would commit. You open up the art program that came with your operating system and are about to get started when you notice there is still a message from a chum you haven't checked. You open pesterchum and see the blue name again. You smile. Maybe you do have the energy to talk. 

\-- ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] \--

GT: hey dave!   
GT: rose said you were occupied but i wanted to say happy birthday anyway for when you get back.   
GT: did you get my package?   
TG: yo my best fucking bro in the world   
TG: and by extension the universe which somehow has space for my sheer awesomeness  
TG: and by extension the multiverse which somehow contains all of my alternate selves awesomeness   
TG: damn how does all of reality even handle me   
GT: ok ok i get it dude you're cool  
GT: i got that from our first conversation years back   
GT: everyone knows it   
TG: you bet your sweet ass they do   
GT: but if you're finished stroking your own horn for a second you never told me if you got my package!   
TG: nah i didnt   
TG: i havent gotten anyones yet   
GT: darn.   
GT: mail drones kinda suck hard huh?   
TG: thats how it is on this bitch of an earth   
TG: theyre probably preoccupied with their second job   
TG: surveillance or in non official language creeping on random people   
TG: probably spying on us while were in the shower   
TG: all the perverts in security being bored in the office and someone pipes up   
TG: hey boys we got a code blue dude with impeccable abs scrubbing down   
TG: look at those pecs shine   
GT: that's pretty gross dude.   
TG: thems the facts what the fuck else are they doing   
TG: real life skynet with all these robots flying around   
TG: now imagine arnold going   
TG: ah you john egbaht   
GT: well i'm about to lead a revolution against these things, jesus.   
GT: i caught one looking in my room once.   
TG: like i said man   
TG: our government   
TG: bunch of tyrannical pervs   
GT: i'll inform you if i ever decide to overthrow our robotic overlords.   
GT: but seriously, shitposting aside, happy birthday dude.   
GT: you're my best bro and i really hope you end up liking what i send you.   
TG: hey you know me better than anyone im sure itll be great   
GT: so you really haven't gotten any presents yet huh!   
TG: i mean i got one   
TG: from my bro aka the real life fucking muppet   
GT: oh yeah, you told me about him.   
GT: he sounds weirder than my dad, which is saying something!   
GT: what do you think he got you?   
TG: havent checked   
TG: judging by the feel and size hardcover puppet paraphernalia maybe   
GT: your brothers kind of a creep dude.   
GT: i mean no offense or anything!   
TG: dude   
TG: absolutely fucking none taken   
TG: it aint offensive if its true   
TG: also whats this are you showing tact   
GT: yeah, rose has been trying to teach me how to not come off as insensitive.   
GT: she got a book on etiquette on my last birthday.   
TG: have you read it   
GT: don't tell her this but i actually haven't.   
GT: it's by that buckminster guy, i'm not sure if it's trying to teach me something or insult me.   
TG: yeah that sounds like a rose thing to do   
GT: i gotta help my dad bake for his work party, but i'll talk to you later man.   
TG: dont sneak eat any of it   
TG: youll get migraines   
GT: i have enough experience with that, hehehe.   
GT: see you dave!   


\-- ghostlyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] \--

You find yourself grinning widely, a breach of your unperturbed persona. Curse John and his adorable dorkiness. Adorkableness. You would never for as long as your fine posterior strutted the earth tell him those words.

You spin around in your chair to face your bed. The package sits there, unopened, almost inviting your touch. The smuppet wrapping making you inwardly throw up. What would it be this time? New turntables? Another volume of the Mr. Meaty and Silence of the Lambs crossover? He always kept you in suspense, especially when it came to things like your birthday. You wonder if you'll have to burn another book, or throw out yet another inferior piece of equipment that seems to go outdated every other month now. You know it can't be a new pair of swords since your current ones aren't broken yet. 

After more hesitation, you decide to just see what the asshole got you. You open the package and are met with the face of Hella Jeff and his signature porkchop smile. You pull the thing out. A glossy surface, thrusters on the back with fins lining the sides. Sweet Bros face on the underside with Hella Jeff's on the front. The address to your webcomic printed on both. It's a rocketboard. Your freakish brother got you a rocketboard. All because you slashed him across the chest, blood soaked fabric flying out of the impact zone as shiny red muscle- 

You shake your head. What you hold in your hands is like a pair of wings. You could kick off from the roof, zooming through the skies and seeing the city in a whole new way. Your world would be expanded beyond just your apartment and the roof. But it came from the man you hated. On the other hand, it was a rocketboard. The latter wins over the former, and you look out the window. You realize the entire city is yours to explore once you've learned the ropes of this thing. It was also free advertising for your website, which meant exposure revenue, which meant money towards your hobbies, one of the few sources of solace you had in this world. 

You go to the rooftop once again, ready to do something with all the excitement of a strife, terror replaced with thrill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things to note:
> 
> Dave in this story is newly 12. He and Bro have been strifing since he could stand at three years old, hence the nine years quote.
> 
> Dave wears an outfit similar to the puppet tux.
> 
> Some characters may act different to their canon counterparts, as a result of how this universe has shaped them. Rest assured they are mostly the same people.


	3. Vertical Movements

All that changed throughout the day in this city were the lights. They would dim when it was "nighttime" and brighten during the "morning". No one could use the sun in the sky as a reference anymore, but clocks were always reliable. As for the crows, they would always have the inner clocks nature had granted them for migration. Except with the current state the planet was in, and would be seemingly forever, the changed and volatile geography would still confuse the remaining creatures. So it is no surprise to you that when you go to the rooftop for the third time today that not much about your scenery has changed. Gears still turn, lava still burbles and artificial luminescence permeates the area. With your new gift you would see this place in an entirely different way, and it excited you.

You flip a small embedded switch on the left underside. The board rumbles to life, already being fueled. From what you remember of the instruction manual you glossed over, the board operated on the lean of your body and the tilt of your feet. Leaning forward would increase your speed while leaning back would obviously do the opposite. Tilting your feet forward would make you ascend, and going on the balls of your feet would cause it to descend. The board was currently in what you called parked mode, so that you wouldn't have an unfortunate mishap whilst getting on. A small button at the tip could be pressed by your toe to unlock it, so to speak. You get on, wobbling slightly but quickly gaining your balance. You have had enough experience keeping your footing due to your various strifes, so it is almost second nature. Like riding a bike, if those still existed and were in any way convenient on these streets. 

Once you press the button, you would be at the mercy of gravity and your own balance. You decide to say to hell with it and unlock the board. Standing still ensures it is still in a neutral position, so you mentally prepare yourself and tilt your feet ever so slightly forward. The board rises and you manage to keep your footing as you go ten feet up. You'll have to go higher, so you keep tilting until you reach the top of the radio tower. From up here you could see slightly more of your home. Surveillance drones roamed atop buildings and streets, unaffected by the terrain. Some flew while others walked. A symbol you couldn't quite make out from up here shone with authority and purpose. The people below were walking across skybridges, others making potentially shady dealings in more secluded areas. You ascend higher. 

By now you are near at level where the clouds used to be. If you're going to be flying this thing, you decide, you're going hard straight away. All you have to is tilt your feet back your body forward to zoom down and curl around the buildings. You think the risk of dying is irrelevant compared to the reward of being a legend in the sky, so you will go along with your plan. You slowly cause the board to descend and accelerate speed. Not long after you hear the air whirling past you as your hair is frazzled by the friction. You go faster yet faster, not stopping for anything. Once you reach a certain point mid level with a building you tilt to ascend and essentially twirl around the building. It feels no short of absolutely amazing. As if you were really flying. 

After establishing that losing your balance is impossible, you start doing some skate tricks. The hops you make are absolutely unreal, so flagrant they should probably be illegal. They most likely are. But you don't care. You feel a sense of excitement and joy you've never felt, zooming through the skies and performing mad tricks on your new gift. Some wave to you, and you push your shades to the bridge of your nose in confirmation. As a wise man once said, it's fuckign incredible. While you are high up, you can admire an extended view of the landscape. While low, you twirl around buildings and spin and flip and ollie. If you had a proverbial ladder to determine your echelon of being absolutely awesome, you'd be at least midtier by now. You would be a high ranking official in the court of being cool, a noble but not quite a prince. 

After zipping around for a while you decide to go higher than you have before and return the board to a neutral hover. You click the button, and with extreme care sit down. Your legs dangle above perhaps a hundred feet. It is at this moment you realize you could take the most incredible photo of yourself ever, so you take out your phone. It would be nice to show everyone, and Jade when she got back. You take the shot, giving a peace sign above the city. You hit send all, and decide to change your status to "Chipper" even though that's a grand understatement. All anxiety from your earlier strife today vanished a few minutes ago when you pulled the sickest stunts in the Texan sky. You get a ping. It isn't from John or Rose, however. It's a teal name. It's oddly familiar, tickling a spot in the back of your brain. It's probably a troll, again. You don't understand their fascination with you in particular, but with soft sigh you open it up to see what sort of awful attempt is being made this time.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling  turntechGodhead [TG]

GC: H3Y COOLK1D!   
GC: 1TS B33N A LONG T1M3   
GC: W3LL, FOR YOU AT L34ST, H3H3H3H3   
TG: i would ask why youre talking in leetspeek but its oddly familiar   
TG: have you made a god awful attempt at troling before   
TG: you cant troll a guy on his birthday come on its a violation of the bro code   
TG: im calling the fucking police   
GC: 1 UND3RSTOOD 4BOUT H4LF OF TH4T   
GC: 1S HUM4N MEMORY SO 1NF4LL1BL3?   
TG: wait a hot minute   
TG: are you one of those pretend alien guys   
GC: 1M A G1RL, AND Y3S   
GC: 1 H4V3 GR4CIOUSLY GR33T3D YOU ON YOUR B1RTHD4Y WH1CH IS FOR SOM3 R34SON A B1G D34L FOR HUM4NS? >:?   
TG: oh fuck i know you   
TG: youre the awesome dragon chick whos pretending to be an alien for some reason   
TG: and has also been subtly macking on my hot self with flirtation disguised as dank memes and banter   
TG: i mean really you gotta have a certain level of dedication to troll me four consecutive years in a row   
TG: couldnt get enough of the strider charm and patiently waited to come back for more on my special day am i right   
GC: F1RST OF 4LL 1 H4V3 NOT B33N FL1RT1NG W1TH YOU R3D OR OTH3RW1S3   
GC: S3CONDLY 1TS ONLY B33N A F3W M1NUT3S FOR ME, AND 1TS OUT OF BOR3DOM B3C4US3 TH3R3S NOTH1NG TO DO ON TH1S 4WFUL ROCK   
TG: ok the alien stuff is cool but please no time travel   
TG: i hate time travel its confusing and no one understands   
TG: everyone who has every written a story involving time travel has fucking winged it   
GC: H3H3H3H3H3   
TG: whats the ominous laugh for   
GC: OH NOTH1NG   
GC: 1TS JUST 1RON1C! >8)   
TG: well shit im the fucking embodiment of all things ironic   
TG: open a picture dictionary go to i and go to ironic   
TG: theres me dave motherfucking strider   
TG: shades on tux fly and juice in hand   
TG: i bet its even in your quote unquote alien dictionary   
GC: WH4TS 4 D1CT1ON4RY?   
TG: hahaha you even have the whole   
TG: what is this term that makes sense to you but that i am completely clueless on because i am not human   
GC: OK TH3N MR COOLK1D STR1D3R   
GC: 1F 1M NOT 4N 4L13N   
GC: HOW C4N 1 S33 WH4T YOU'R3 DO1NG R1GHT NOW?   
TG: arent you blind   
GC: F1GUR3 OF SP33CH, 4LSO RUD3 >:/   
TG: alright alright ill stop   
TG: so what am i doing right now   
TG: and how would you know without working eyes   
GC: 1 H4V3 OTH3R W4YS OF S331NG   
GC: BUT 1F I H4V3 TO PROV3 1T   
GC: YOU'R3 S1TT1NG ON 4 HOV3RBO4RD HUNDR3DS OF F33T ABOV3 ON3 OF YOUR W31RD HUM4N ST3MCLUST3RS   
GC: YOU H4V3 4 BOWT13 4ND 4 BUTTON3D SH1RT WITH SOM3 ADMITTE3DLY PR3TTY COOL GL4SS3S   
TG: yeah thats not creepy at all   
TG: but hey whatever our leaders spy on us all the time nothing new   
GC: 1 S4W YOUR F4C3 F4LL, 3V3N 1F YOU R3COV3R3D YOUR 1MP4SS1V3 ST4R3 QU1CKLY   
GC: 1 4LSO KNOW YOU PR4CT1C3 DO1NG 1T 1N TH3 M1RROR FOR F34R OF REBUKE FROM YOUR W31RD LUSUS   
GC: TH3R3S 4 HOL3 B3H1ND A POST3R 1N YOUR M34L BLOCK WH3R3 YOU ST4SH WH4T3V3R D1SGUST1NG STUFF HUM4NS 34T   
TG: alright so are you using a hacked security drone or what   
TG: or maybe youre a part of the government sent to spy on me and do yearly checkups   
TG: whats the shakedown   
GC: UNL1K3 YOUR INF3R1OR HUM4N CH4TT1NG 4PPL1CAT1ON, M1N3 4LLOWS M3 TO S33 4ND COMMUN1C4T3 W1TH V3RS1ONS OF YOU FROM D1FF3R3NT TIMES   
GC: T3LL M3, COOLK1D, 1N TH3 WORLD YOU 3X1ST 1N, 1S 4 T1M3 TR4V3LL1NG "4L13N" WHO TROLLS YOU ON YOUR B1RTHD4Y R34LLY TH4T UNB3L13V4BL3?   
TG: i mean   
TG: alright maybe i can believe the alien stuff big universe and all that   
TG: but not the time travel shit hell no   
GC: WHY? B3C4US3 YOU C4N'T, OR DONT W4NT TO?   
TG: well its more satisfying to think youve been waiting a whole year just to say happy birthday   
TG: i mean if you really have time travel mumbo jumbo shit why keep coming back to me specifically   
TG: and on my birthday   
GC: 1TS B3C4US3 1 H4V3 B3COM3 M4YB3 SL1GHTLY 1NTRU1G3D BY YOU   
TG: like in the alien studying human lifeform kind of way   
TG: or are you really just tryna get your mack on because honestly i dont blame you   
TG: who could resist this   
GC: BLUHH   
GC: 1F YOU R34LLY MUST KNOW, YOU'R3 K1ND OF TH3 ONLY S4N3 P3RSON 1 C4N T4LK TO   
GC: 4LL OF MY FR13NDS 4R3 K1ND OF, 4ND TH1S 1S COM1NG FROM M3, PSYCHOT1C, 3SP3C14LLY 4FT3R TH31R MUT1L4MORPHOS1S   
GC: 4ND TH3 ON3S WHO 4R3N'T 4R3N'T R34LLY P3OPL3 1 WOULD C4LL FR13NDS   
GC: B3C4US3 TH3Y'R3 3XTR3M3LY 4NNOY1NG >:[   
GC: 4ND L1K3 1 S41D B3FOR3 1TS NOT L1K3 1 H4V3 4NYTH1NG B3TT3R TO DO   
GC: 1 N33D3D 4 BR34K   
TG: why dont you just talk to future me then   
GC: H3 1SNT L1K3 YOU   
GC: YOU'R3 D1FF3R3NT   
TG: oh   
GC: 4ND TH1S 1S GO1NG TO B3 TH3 L4ST CONV3RS4T1ON 1 H4V3 W1TH TH1S YOU   
GC: 1M OUT OF B1RTHD4YS TO GO TO   
TG: hey look if youre that attracted to my sweet self   
TG: you dont have to just talk to me once a year   
GC: R34LLY?   
TG: yeah   
TG: you know how to meme   
TG: youre a dragon girl who breathes fire out of her eyes which by the way coolest fucking transmutation ever   
TG: and you keep coming back even though i was pretty dismissive in our last conversations   
TG: you can message me anytime you want dude   
TG: and hey you have a magical time travel chat right   
TG: just use your alien pesterchum or whatever to pop in every day or so when i dont look busy and hit me up   
TG: see im even playing along with your time travel shit thats how you know were good   
GC: YOU M34N THAT?   
TG: hell yeah i do thats a strider guarantee   
TG: just refrain from snooping in on me its still pretty unnerving   
GC: NO PROM1S3S, BUT   
GC: TH4NKS COOLK1D   
TG: you can call me dave   
GC: OK "D4V3"   
TG: why the quotation marks   
GC: B3C4US3 1TS 4 PR3TTY W31RD N4M3   
GC: DO 4LL HUM4NS ONLY H4V3 FOUR L3TT3R N4M3S? >:?   
TG: well whats your name   
GC: T3R3Z1   
TG: thats a pretty cool alien name terezi   
TG: terezi the extraterezisteral   
GC: TH3 WH4T?   
TG: ha nevermind   
TG: anyway check back in a few days ill have a new sbahj to show you   
TG: its a three parter   
GC: W3LL OK D4V3   
GC: 1'LL GO TO THE PO1NT 1N YOUR T1M3L1N3 WH3R3 YOU F1N1SH 1T   
GC: TH3N I C4N SHOW YOU MY SUP3R1OR COM1C!   
TG: aww shit i cant wait to see a real alien webcomic   
TG: another shitpost battle then   
TG: where gonna make this happen   
GC: 1TS GO1NG TO TR4NSP1R3 >8]   
TG: its gonna commence   
TG: see you in a few days terezi   
GC: S33 YOU L4T3R...NOW!   
GC: H3H3H3!   


gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling  turntechGodhead [TG]

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

GT: holy crap dude!   
GT: how did you take this??   
TG: you can thank my bro   
TG: fucker went out and got me a custom made rocketboard apparantely   
GT: but you only would have opened it an hour ago.   
GT: how did you pick it up so fast?   
TG: you tell me bro   
TG: how did dave strider learn a rocket powered board and fly it a hundred feet in the air in the span of an hour   
GT: because you're dave?   
TG: because im dave fucking strider   
TG: let the record show   
TG: that when it comes to awesome i reap what i sow   
TG: im the invincible starman aint got shit on me   
TG: looking for ironic bitch im the epitome   
GT: i was about to call you unironically cool but after that im back to thinking you're a dork.   
TG: fuck you my bars are more fly than a crow on a plane   
GT: that analogy sucked dude!   
GT: ok stop.   
GT: stop typing whatever gross rebuttal you were gonna make to that.   
TG: ok but only because i like you   
GT: thank god.   
GT: you gotta give me the specs on that board.   
TG: lets see   
TG: max speed 120 mph   
TG: eight hours flight time   
TG: water heat cold and radiation resistant   
TG: not to mention composed of titanium alloy with class three thrusters   
TG: its basically untouchable  
GT: woah.   
GT: that sounds high end, not to mention expensive.   
GT: how did your bro afford that?!.   
TG: that guy makes a downright fucking evil amount of money from his puppet porn gig   
TG: imagine raking in tens of thousands a month just for mashing multicolored smuppets together in front of a camera   
TG: even more disturbing is enough people are actually into that   
TG: though he probably has other less legal sources too   
GT: if he did get arrested, what do you think it would be for?   
TG: assault and battery with a smuppet   
TG: beating someone comatose with a plush felt smuppet ass   
TG: court is now in session will the prosecution please take the stand   
TG: your honor my client was beaten senselessly by a perverse object of crude design   
TG: not only are they still recovering from their wounds their mental scars are far from faded   
TG: they have had repeated nightmares wherein the last thing they see before death is a phallous nose and a plump red rump   
TG: i suggest the penalty of r0gknglrtnt   
GT: huh?   
GT: dave?   


turntechGodhead [TG] was knocked out of the sky. 

GT: ...DAVE?!   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am evil.


	4. Downward Spiral

At first you're unsure of why you're falling. You have no idea what could have knocked you off your board this high up. People just didn't fly at this altitude, and no crow had the size or force necessary. Wind whirls around you as you tumble through the sky, eyes protected by your shades which miraculously stay on. Then you see something careening down ten feet away from you. An imperial air drone. Why it was doing surveillance at this height, you have no idea, nor it is a prime worry at this juncture. No, you're more concerned with the fact that you are currently careening from the sky at one hundred feet. You had to locate your board, but even if you did, how would you get to it? Then you see it next to the drone, thrusters sputtering intermittently. 

The drone had slammed into your side at full force, making you temporarily black out. You were in the middle of a conversation with your best friend, presumably engaged in some sort of banter. And now you might end up splatted on a roof or melted in magma. It was sort of hilarious, if it weren't terrifying. You suppose it should be, but you can't seem to feel anything. Your brain has shut down from terror. All emotion is gone, leaving only your survival instincts. You needed a way to get to your board. In a stroke of fortune, or misfortune, the drone comes towards you at that moment. It was partly operational, flying clumsily, buzzsaw swinging. It seemed it was still trying to boot it's targeting systems, and as such couldn't use any ranged weapons. You decapthalogue your spare swords, seeing your one chance at survival. You roll your shoulders back to fall towards it.

Your blade catches it's saw, sending sparks flying. It extends a second one from behind, so you catch that one with your free blade. You lead it into crossing your blades, after which you uncross them at full force, sending you both flying back. You would think this was absolutely the coolest thing you've done if you weren't focused on trying to stay alive. The drone is temporarily out of orientation. Just the opening you needed. You fall towards it full speed and stab into it with your blades, kicking off of it. The momentum sends you towards your board. Grabbing it, you flip it on and off to no avail. It won't start up again. You look down to see the city getting closer. You desperately whack the board with your hand-and it works. The thrusters ignite and your salvation is now fully operational.

You clamber on and try to steady yourself. Your board is at full speed, and combined with your previous velocity you'll crash any moment. Spotting your apartment building, you aim as close as you can to the door leading downstairs and pull back as hard as possible. You manage to slow down considerably, but not enough as you would soon find out. You crash through the door and tumble down the stairs at breakneck speed. You manage not to actually break your neck, but you're pretty sure you have some bruised ribs and a cracked jawline. It does indeed seem to keep happening, until you arrive at the bottom and slam into the wall opposite of the stairs. You swear it shakes the entire apartment. 

The floor feels cool, and you can't will yourself to move any part of yourself, so you lay there awhile. Your ribs ache, and your jaw equally so. You doubt you could speak without it hurting-not that you've ever had to use your voice much. Damaged ribs could present a problem, though. You wouldn't be able to strife for days, weeks perhaps. Bro never cared much for how injured you were so long as you could hold a sword steadily. If he called for one, you could lock yourself in your room. He never came in there, but there would be consequences once you came out. To speak of the devil, you hear a door slam open and closed, then hands roughly pulling you into an upright position. Cracked shades on a painted face stare back at you. 

"The fuck'd you do, kid? We have drones up the ass flying around the building, and I sure as hell didn't get caught this time." What he's referring to you'd rather not think about. He looks toward the window and flashsteps to it, pulling the blinds and doing the same to the rest while muttering curses under his breath. Afterwards he looks expectantly at you. You can't grit your teeth for the pain speaking causes you so you clench your fists instead. 

"Well shit, Bro, I was just maxing out on my new gift and one of the air drones comes crashing into me full force, so I took it down while I was falling." It comes out strained and shaky. You could feel the bone shift as it went up and down to form the words, and you pray you don't have to explain any further. He considers this for a moment. "You took out a drone in midair?" He eventually says, with a subtle tone shift from his regular voice that denotes pride. "Well, you ain't gonna be able to show your face for a few weeks now, so strife sessions are cancelled until further notice." He turns to limp into his room, presumably to his computer so he can do damage control. "Also, pizzas on the counter. Happy birthday." He calls from a few feet away. The apartment is silent again. 

You painfully half walk half crawl to your room. Your first priority is letting your friends know you're alive, and your second is sleep. Feeling your pocket for your phone, you realize it's probably forever lost since being knocked out of your hands at one hundred feet up. It's too painful to sit up at your computer so you scramble in your drawer for your old iShades. It's the crappy 3G ones, but they will have to do for now. You put them on, flopping onto your bed with discomfort and switching to pesterchum. Multiple notifications from both Rose and John flood your inbox. You decide to just make a memo.

turntechGodhead [TG] opened memo on board shadys jamboree. 

TG: guess whos back   
TG: and yeah im quoting the song you cant fucking stop me   
TG: not even death has shit on the strider name whats up   
ghostlyTrickster [GT] responded to memo.   
GT: dave holy shit!   
GT: i thought you died!   
TG: well you thought wrong dunkass   
tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to memo.   
TT: Words cannot express my relief.   
TT: John told me you had fallen off your board.   
TT: I expected the worst.   
TG: well you can calm down   
TG: im fine   
TT: Dave.   
TT: We both know the truthfulness of that statement, coming from you especially.   
TG: wow ok rose   
TG: gonna psychoanalyze someone who almost died real nice   
TG: ow   
TT: Dave, please. Be serious a moment.   
TT: We really thought you had been killed.   
TG: well at least it would have saved me from something much fucking worse later on   
TG: i mean what the hell is wrong with this place   
TG: you ever stop and look around and wondered how we even got to this point   
TG: theres something really wrong with the universe in general   
TG: fuck ow   
GT: hey dude, i know you almost died but why are you typing out the word "ow"?   
TT: John.   
TG: hey fuck you egbert   
TT: Dave.   
TG: rose   
TT: Both of you stop it.   
TT: Tensions are high at the current moment, and everyone is very wound up.   
TT: Let's not exasperate an already dire situation with infighting.   
GT: sorry.   
TG: john seeing you apologize is the weirdest shit ever   
TG: alright ill make this blunt because this is getting pretty painful   
TG: basically i was talking to egbert   
TG: when this air drone fucking careens into me   
TG: so now im falling hundreds of feet   
TG: and then i use the drone to propel myself to my board and crashland into my apartment in a move that would make tony hawk cry and quit   
TG: oh and my phones gone forever so im narrating using my old shitty ishades   
GT: did you take the drone out?!   
GT: that's an omicron level offense! aren't they gonna look for you?   
TG: they are   
TG: im laying low   
TG: ok i really cant talk anymore shit   
TT: It's alright. As long as you stay safe that is all that matters.   
TT: Go rest, Dave.   
TT: We can talk tomorrow.   
TG: ok   
GT: get better dude.   
TG: maybe   
  


turntechGodhead [TG] closed memo. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your jaw is truly throbbing as you take off the shades. You don't know how much sleep will really remedy your injuries, but you are tired and battered after both a strife and a near death experience. Taking your tux off, you lay down. You can't go on your side on account of your ribs, so you lie on your back. Usually you would lay on your side (your Bro taught you that you're most vulnerable to an opponent sleeping on your back), but sleeping uncomfortably was better than sleeping painfully. The room is cool and dark, so it doesn't take long for you to fall unconscious. 

You fall asleep to the sound of flowing magma and turning gears softly in the background.


	5. Purple Dreams and Greetings Green

You open your eyes but get the feeling that you aren't awake. Well, you've woken up here, but this definitely isn't your room, or the real world for that matter. The first tip off is a purple roof. The second is the fact that you are now wearing silky purple pajamas. If you're being honest, they look pretty sick. You get off the bed and stand up, noticing that you don't feel pain from your ribs-or anywhere, come to think of it. The crack in your jaw, the bruises on your ribs, even the burnt roof of your mouth from last Fridays pizza are gone. You feel lighter than air. Looking around, the space you are in is a replica of your room, albeit in a purple tint. A window is present by your turntables so you decide to take a look.

Outside the window, purple spires cover the expanse. They have a texture and look to them, almost as if they're more real than anything else. It doesn't make sense, but then again your dreams never made much sense. The buildings and spires seem to go on for miles. All that divides them are towers and alleyways. This place is essentially made of alleyways. Below, you can see some black figures in strange cloth doting around. Next to your tower is another, identical looking to yours. You think you might be able to fly over, considering this is a dream. Before you do, however, you notice the people below look up and point. Their expressions soon turn to that of horror. 

You hear a horrible roar, more loud and terrible than anything you've ever heard, and then something crashes into your tower. You feel yourself being flung for a moment before you wake up. Again. 

You are now in your real bed, shirtless. When you slightly shift your ribs throb, although moving your jaw up and down doesn't hurt as badly. The bone doesn't shift as much at the very least. Sitting up carefully, you see your shades lit up. A green glow is cast on the table. You remember what today is, and you definitely have to take this. You'd rather let your jawbone heal, so you lean against the wall for support and make your way to your computer. After finding an angle that is the most comfortable to sit in, you log onto pesterchum and open the notification.

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

GG: daaaaaaaaave!! :D   
GG: its been so long!!   
GG: rose told me about what happened yesterday   
GG: im really sorry you got hurt   
GG: to be honest i have been a little under the weather myself the past four months   
GG: that joke was unintentional but still true, lol   
GG: but im here now, and when you wake up we can really catch up!   
GG: get back sooooon   
TG: well hey there harley   
TG: its real fucking good to be talking to you again you have no idea   
TG: yesterday was an unrelenting shitshow taking its toll   
TG: broke the descent with my body broke some shit from the fall   
TG: uh   
GG: you havent changed at all you silly!   
GG: but really, are you doing ok?   
TG: i mean ill get better no biggie   
TG: i have experience with major injuries   
TG: strifing with my bro and shit you know how it is   
TG: whereve you been   
GG: i managed to come down with radiation sickness :/   
GG: i was exploring and i guess i went a little too far with too little protection   
GG: but im ok now!   
GG: my grandpa was smart enough to build detox rooms in the lab   
TG: damn   
TG: guess things have sucked for both of us   
TG: well four months for you and one day so far for me but   
TG: sucks you have no one else around   
TG: thats how it is on this bitch of an earth   
GG: well it isnt all bad!   
GG: at least we all have each other through the bad stuff!   
GG: right?   
TG: how do you stay so positive   
TG: ill have whatever youre taking   
TG: seriously though i never get tired of your pep   
GG: and i never get tired of your coolness   
GG: mister coolkid!   
TG: haha   
GG: whats funny? ;P   
TG: its just that someone else called me that yesterday   
TG: one of those troll guys   
GG: ughhh!   
GG: i hate them so much!   
TG: who are you and what have you done with jade harley   
TG: ive literally never heard you say you hate anything   
GG: well the one that keeps bothering me is always yelly and rude!   
GG: they all have such irritating typing styles, sometimes i cannot even read what theyre saying!   
GG: but im sure its just rude and mean   
TG: huh   
TG: well i actually managed to make friends with of em   
GG: what!!   
GG: how??   
TG: see its like this   
TG: im super cool already so who wouldnt want a piece of this   
TG: and plus its a girl so obviously they wanna mack hard   
TG: theyre also a fucking dragon who to top it all off likes my comics and shitposts   
GG: were they flirting with you??   
TG: it wouldnt have surprised me but nah   
GG: phew   
GG: its a little icky to think about   
TG: whys that   
TG: cause theyre transmutated or cause theyre trolls   
GG: both!   
GG: wouldnt the transmutation thing weird you out a little?   
TG: i never thought about it much   
TG: but i mean with or without transmutation   
TG: a chick is a chick   
TG: no matter how many appendages   
TG: or lack thereof   
GG: well i sure hope im not just another one of your many women   
GG: mister womanizer!   
TG: uh   
TG: do you actually know what that word fully means   
GG: yeah!   
GG: it means youre some macho coolkid who dates a lot of girls   
GG: right?   
TG: that is totally exactly what it means   
TG: and yes i totally pull in a fair amount of game   
TG: i also know youre off limits by royal decree aka lalonde would kick my ass   
GG: she can be pretty scary!   
GG: and thats exactly what i like ;P   
TG: you sly dog harley   
TG: but yeah i think i said it before but its good to have you back   
TG: i didnt get to wish you a happy birthday so happy birthday   
TG: oh shit   
GG: whats up??   
TG: i never gave rose my customary birthday sbahj   
TG: well actually i was gonna make it last minute but yesterday was a shitshow   
TG: im gonna do that   
GG: yes do!   
GG: you must uphold the sacred tradition!!   
GG: hehehe!   
TG: hell yeah you know it   
TG: but yeah later harls   
TG: i have a shitpost to gift   
GG: later proverbial alligator!!   


turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  gardenGnostic [GG]

You figure you have at least an hour or two before you have to pester Rose. You're fortunate you have the cover of being injured, however unfortunate actually being so is. You really don't mean to do these things last minute, you really don't, but procrastination is just a part of who you are. In your own mind you called your laziness "patience" because it certainly sounded better. But you really just like to slack off. You can own it, though. You're cool like that. You are about to begin work on your gift when you realize you haven't eaten in about fourteen hours. One cannot shitpost on an empty stomach, so Doritos for breakfast it is. You open the door.

The sound of Tony Hawk Skater Pro assaults your ears. You look over to the futon to see your Bro playing, body stiff except for his hands. Right, you were both being sought out by imperial authority for the next few weeks. Which meant you'd be cooped up in a small space with him. This did not strike you as particularly enjoyable. Nevertheless you chanced going to your spot behind the poster and retrieving a pack of nacho cheese corn chips. On your way back, however, you notice a sudden movement from you Bro. It looked like he swatted something on the couch next to him. You realize a few seconds later that he was in fact patting the space next to him. An invitation to play and see who could glitch out the game the most. It was his substitute activity for when you couldn't strife. You very much would rather go into your room, but you're going to have to play sooner or later. Reluctantly, you go over and sit down.

A controller sits in front of the futon on the table, faithfully in it's usual spot. You grab it, tense from being in close proximity to what you call your brother. He sits slack, gloved thumbs clacking at the control sticks as his skater clips through the world. You direct your skater to the grind rails, which are a one hundred percent guarantee on your character spazzing out. And indeed, with a perform of a grind and the wild maneuvering of the control sticks the model spins perpetually around the rail, then shoots up into the sky. A rancorous guffaw sounds from next to you. From your peripheral vision you can see that Bro is in another one of his laughing fits. His shades drop again, and you steal a glance. Glassy, beady eyes. Orange. He puts them back on and continues to play. 

You wonder what he would have been like in a world where the sun shone and monsters didn't roam.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tentacleTherapist [GG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

TT: Are you any better?   
TG: fanfuckingtastic   
TG: you would not believe how good im healing over here   
TG: shits like an rpg you sleep in a bed but pay extra cash and get the really comfy bed and wake up next morning with extra health   
TG: then you lose it to the one annoying enemy and shit youre back to square one   
TT: I see.   
TT: Have you been exerting yourself physically?   
TG: well if you consider moving my fingers across an xbox controller like a hacker from the movies physical exertion   
TG: and being tensed up the entire time because youre sitting next to frankensteins puppet fetish   
TT: Ah yes.   
TT: The intensity of a video game session with ones monstrosity of a guardian.   
TT: What strange challenges behold us indeed.   
TG: youre lucky you know that   
TT: None of us are exactly lucky here, Dave.   
TG: yeah yeah i know but   
TG: at least you dont have to constantly be around your parental figure   
TG: i mean unless youre doing knitting classes together   
TG: today were gonna knit a hundred sleeved sweater for the eventual return of glibthlglobglabglib and his many tentacle appendages   
TT: It's rude to talk about someone who's listening, you know.   
TG: holy fuck is that an actual horrorterror in your goth bible   
TG: fuckign incredible   
TT: No, and I would appreciate if you didn't insult my interests.   
TT: I don't mock yours.   
TG: because my interests are cool   
TG: i am being ironic you know   
TT: As am I.   
TT: To answer your query a few lines back, I very rarely see my mother.   
TT: But that is a tale for another time.   
TT: John has been inquiring as to your well being.   
TT: I think you ought reconcile from yesterday.   
TG: john fucking egbert giving a shit about someone   
TG: still amazed by that   
TT: Dave, he's trying for you.   
TT: All grudges are temporary, so why not take the convenient route and sort it out sooner?   
TG: because sometimes you just gotta cross your arms and look to the side   
TG: you wallow in that resentment until you get tired of it and then you make up   
TT: I always thought guys made up quicker.   
TT: Stop being such a girl and make up with your best friend.   
TG: rude   
TG: but correct i will go do that right now maam   
TT: Actually, he said he would message you first.   
TG: alright ill answer him   
TT: Remember to be open.   
TG: yes mom   
TT: Good boy.   


ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

GT: hey dave.   
GT: sorry for being kind of an insensitive doofus yesterday.   
GT: are we still friends?   
TG: hmm i dunno egbert   
TG: your apology doesnt seem very sincere   
GT: aww really?   
GT: i don't really know what else i can do!   
GT: i addressed what i did and apologized for it just like rose said!   
TG: for all lalondes smarts she doesnt know the bro code   
TG: it needs to be a little more extravagant than just saying sorry   
TG: like a fuckin parade with the running theme "im sorry for being a giant douchebag dave strider"   
GT: just tell me what to do.   
TG: ok so first you gotta get on your knees   
GT: what!   
GT: you can't just tell a guy to get on his knees dude.   
TG: do you want my merciful forgiveness or not egbutt   
GT: yes.   
TG: ok then dont interrupt   
TG: you gotta get on your knees   
TG: clasp your hands together in a gesture of pure regret   
TG: look up and say while looking into my eyes   
TG: oh dave you are so amazing and cool and i am but a mere dork in your hella fresh presence   
TG: forgive me a sinner   
TG: make it genuine like youre professing your sins to the lord snoop himself   
GT: fiiiine.   
GT: oh dave you are so amazing and cool and i am but a mere dork in your hella fresh presence.   
GT: forgive me a sinner.   
GT: is that good?   
TG: hahaha you actually fucking did it   
TG: thats getting screenshotted and sent to literally everyone in my list   
GT: what?!   
GT: come on dave, i'm trying really hard here!   
GT: i even said that stupid stuff.   
GT: i just wanted to be bros again you know?   
TG: john   
TG: we are bros   
TG: we never stopped being bros   
GT: i thought you didn't want to be anymore.   
TG: look dude   
TG: you might say the occasional stupid insensitive thing and i might get pissed   
TG: but we will sort it out by you coming to me all genuine and me fucking with you   
TG: homies stay homies for life my guy   
GT: thanks man.   
GT: oh wow, it would have sucked to have lost you.   
TG: right back at you   
TG: still sending that screencap   
GT: dang!   
GT: are you doing ok?   
TG: you know i think ill be fine   
TG: i have your dorky ass and lalonde and harley too   
TG: thats three good things in my life   
TG: yeah were getting sentimental up in this bitch whos got a problem   
GT: actually i think the dorky one is you.   
TG: alright now listen here   
GT: oops gotta go!   


ghostlyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: you dork   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a little longer than I would have liked. I hope the inclusion of three pesterlogs makes up for the period of drought.
> 
> Expect chapter six in the next two weeks. Or perhaps not. Time is only an illusion.
> 
> I'd also like to mention I am part of a discord for homestuck writers. I will link it if requested.


End file.
